Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.

-Dale Turner-

Thursday, August 18, 2011

I wanna be like them too

For the past few days, I have been seeing these videos some of friends share on Facebook.

O really wanted to watch them but there was always something that stopped me.

Only today did I manage to watch these videos.

I don't know how to describe my feelings after watching the first video about Wardina. It struck me to think and think and think up until now, at 3 am in the morning.

It was around 6 something pm when I was preparing for Iftar and I took a quick breather and sit in front of my laptop and browse through my news feed when I suddenly saw these videos.

I played and watched it and half way through, there were suddenly tears in my eyes. I immediately pulled myself together because I didn't wanna be seen with tears in front of my sisters who were all here today for Iftar together.

I could relate to all the stories shared by the three personalities. There are so much that I've been missing out in life. Too much worldly stuffs have been going on in my mind and in my life all this while.

And it scares me. It truly scares me. There were so many things which I shouldn't have done but I did. I could relate to the stories they shared in the videos and I found the similarities with them. The mistakes I made, all the sins I committed, the solah I missed!

Ya Allah! The superficial happiness and joy I was and have always been after. It will never end. I wish I could tell you all the things I did before but I am too ashamed of my self. I should be ashamed. I've been wrong with many people, my parents, my family, my friends, and most importantly, with ALLAH. Malu dengan ALLAH. Ya Allah!

But, like what Wardina said in the video, I don't wanna be among the people who will NEVER, NEVER EVER be shown the right path. I don't want to continually be IGNORANT and LOST.

But it's easily said than done. This is what scares me. I am afraid I may not be strong enough and I falter along the way. I don't wanna be the same person I am now or I was before. I want to be a BETTER person like them too.

But how do I begin?

Am I going to be as lucky as them who are now shown the right path?

I need the strength and I need the support too.

Nevertheless, I believe every single one of us can change. I can change. Change for the better. I will not say time will tell and determine when I will change.It has to start now. I need a strong will power to change. It's probably NOW or NEVER.

One step at time, Amir. One step at a time! 

"Islam is cool, and Islam is the only way of life", Wardina.


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